Plans Amidst Difficulty (Enald)

[kayla]

Leshya had wanted to scream during the negotiations over which boys were allowed to be searched and which hadn't. Another one boy had been allowed to go with the Riders, and no one seemed to be remotely happy when it was over. Least of all, her.

She felt that Enald had been fair, even if she had gently reminded them that they had not set a limit and had to hear each potential candidate. She knew, she saw it in their eyes, that the Riders didn't appreciate the compromise; they just couldn't seem to understand that it was necessary, that she and Enald were doing the best they could! For the first time in her life, Leshya began to understand why it was that people could feel hostility or resentment towards the Riders.

However, there was something else entirely that Leshya needed to discuss with her husband this evening. He had not needed to pressure, or even ask, her to stop working early this evening. When she finished before supper, she simply asked him to not work to late himself, letting him know that she needed to talk to him.

While she waited on him, she sat in the rocker that she'd had moved into their room. Kimlye was too young to be put in a nursery yet at night, and Leshya insisted that she sleep in the master bedroom for the time being - having both a rocking chair and a basinet moved in. It was time for a feeding anyway, so she sat and rocked the little one while she nursed her, letting the bonding with her daughter calm her from the day's events.

[thedreamerlady]

"It would have been easier to simply disallow the Search at all." Enald told her as he entered the room, looking tired. "And I have a feeling they would have been just as gracious either way."

Removing his shirt, and going to place it in the hamper for dirty clothes, he dropped it. On the ground. Glaring at the offending piece of clothing, he went to reach for it, and realized his hands were trembling. Scooping it awkwardly with two non responsive hands, he pushed it into the hamper.

Ignoring them, he took a seat near his nursing wife. They were still trembling, and it was very, very irritating. But he ignored it. He didn't want to see it. Didn't want to pay attention to it.

"How are you, my dear?"

[kayla]

"Exhausted, and I think you're probably right." She looked up from the baby and smiled at him. Because she had been focused on their child, she had not noticed that his hands were trembling. She hand seen him come in, but had primarily focused on the nursing child.

She grinned slightly noticing that he was shirtless. Leshya always appreciated her husband's form, even if she was a bit overly conscious of the baby fat that she still carried. And that reminded her of why she had wanted to talk to her husband.

"We did the right thing though, Enald." She sighed, "Just sometimes the right thing isn't always the easy thing."

"However, can we talk about something else?" She smiled to him as Kimlye finished feeding and she cuddled the little one. "I realize how bad things are Enald. But... I feel like we need to celebrate the good even in the midst of all this. Under any other circumstances, we'd have a Gather to celebrate the birth of a child. I know it will be tight, but if we use mostly hunted meat and are careful, we can do it. I want to welcome Kimlye right."

She sighed, not wanting to rehash the old argument, "I know you won't name her heir." Though Leshya refused to accept that it was less won't and more couldn't, she understood his reasoning, just did not want to have the same fight over again, especially after the day they had. "But she still deserves a Gather."

[thedreamerlady]

"Leshya." Enald said seriously. "She is our first child- heir or not, she is proof of our strength." He grinned suddenly. "And besides, I can test out my new Stewards." The smile carried some pain, however. They'd lost some of the best and brightest(and some who'd he'd only kept on because he didn't want to deal with the complaints his father would have made), and the new Stewards looked too young, too inexperienced to be trusted with anything.

A Gather might allow him to know what they could be trusted with.

"And besides, a beauty of Telgar is important." He looked at Leshya, studying the beautiful woman who'd given him a child. "A woman simply has a different way of getting power than a man does."

[kayla]

Leshya smiled warmly, with a slight blush at the way he'd been looking at her, she did not find herself as beautiful as he apparently still did. She was a little concerned that she was going to have to convince him, worried that no matter how she worded what she said that they were going to argue again, though she knew it'd stay calm with Kimlye in the room. "Thank you."

The little one finished nursing, and Lesh gently detached her from her breast, and cradled her. "I would hope we'd welcome each child with a gather. I realize that might be a bit extravagant, but I really want to celebrate each one of these bundles we have." She raised her daughter slightly and kissed her forehead.

"Hmm, yes. I hope it'll be different one day, but I know." She sighed, she really wasn't trying to pick a fight, "At least Kimlye won't be raised to believe that she has to manipulate to get power." She didn't blame her mother for what she'd been taught, but she was thankful for a husband who had accepted her as intelligent and his equal.

She gently held the little beauty out to her husband, who reached for him. "Hold your daughter?"

[thedreamerlady]

With a level of tenderness most never saw in Enald, he watched his first born nurse. His wife, his child- for brief moments, he forgot everything but them, only partially listening to what Leshya was saying. He agreed with most of it, though if Leshya was thinking that one day Girls would be declared heirs- well, he wouldn't be alive when that happened.

But he did listen when she told him that he should hold his child. At first, a smile stretched his face, and he reached out, only to realize his hands weren't trustworthy, even if only the left was still trembling. He jerked his hands back, desperately searching for an excuse to say no.

"Ah, that's a bad idea." Think. Think. Think. "I wouldn't want to get her all riled up, when we'll need to put her down to sleep soon.”

[kayla]

Leshya blinked, confused. "I don't think you'd rile her up. You're her father. She'll find as much comfort in your arms as in mine." Ok, there might be a slight bit more bond with her mother, but she would still find peace and comfort with her father. "She might even fall asleep in your arms." Much better chance than her falling asleep with a nanny - that only wound up happening when exhaustion defeated her.

Leshya was confused. She wasn't offended that Enald didn't want to hold the baby at the moment, because it had been clear that he did, but his reasoning was just so well... wrong and not like him. She was simply confused.

"Enald, I really don't think that you holding Kimlye will rile her up. It'll just be a bonding experience. You don't get as much of a chance, cause, well, I do the nursing and I did the carrying and... I just want you to be able to bond with her. I promise, if it riles her up and she has a hard time going down, I'll walk with her. I'll take her into the extra room if necessary."

[thedreamerlady]

Enald shook his head. "Leshya, we have turns to bond with each other. Me upsetting her before she goes to sleep isn't going to help."

His voice was soothing, but the edge of panic in his eyes wasn't. Not that he thought his wife would notice, even if she was worried about how he was acting. The surge of fear brought forth more trembling, and Enald wondered what would happen if every time he grew upset his hands trembled. He'd never be able to fight another duel, that was certain.

"Why don't you just put her down, and come to bed? We've both had a long day, and tomorrow will be longer." There was entreaty in his words. Enald really did want to go to bed, snuggled up against his wife, recharging for the next, more stressful day.

[kayla]

Leshya sighed. Something was wrong with her husband. The panic in his eyes was clear, though Lesh could not figure out what the problem was that would cause him to panic at the thought of holding Kimlye. She silently promised herself that she would, indeed, get to the bottom of it.

However, at the entreaty in his voice, she decided that tonight would not be the night. Whatever it was that was bothering her husband could wait until the morning. "I hope not." She stood and moved to lay the little one in the basinet. Fortunately, she was content and peaceful from feeding, and the fact that it was Mommy tucking her in meant that she did not pitch a fit but rather whimpered a tiny bit at being put in but quickly settled as Lesh dropped a kiss on her forehead, and fell asleep.

"We shouldn't have to fight with Riders tomorrow. So, hopefully not as bad. And planning a Gather should be fun. We've not had a special one since we came back from our honeymoon." She knew it would be more difficult to plan since things were tight, but she also thought that it would be a god way to show that life continues and there was hope.

Checking on Kimlye one more time, she then moved to her husband's side and held her hands out to him, "But I agree, bed now would be good."

[thedreamerlady]

Enald took his wife's hands, and pulled her into bed.

"Just because the Rider's aren't going to be here, that does not mean it's going to be any less tiring. We work with Stewards and Headwomen, and Holders. I may remind you, that they often forget that they owe us anything."

He smiled, confident now that Kimyle was put down to sleep. If he could put it off until the morning, perhaps his hands would be better by then. One lives in eternal hope, he supposed.

"Let's sleep," Enald stated, feeling his eyes flutter a little bit. He really needed some sleep.

[kayla]

Leshya was not ready for anything more than sleep, though she would like to cuddle some. But she had not fully healed yet, from giving birth, so she was content with just being there in her husband's arms.

"Hmm, true. We do. But I cannot imagine that much at all could be more difficult then what we went through today." Though she knew that it was much more difficult for her than it was for Enald. It simply was not quite as personal for him, and while that had caused her some difficulties at other times in their marriage, she was glad that he was not as personally invested as she was. One of them needed that distance, and she was glad he had it.

Leshya kissed her husband warmly and then settled down his arms, snuggling against him. "I love you. And we'll get through tomorrow as we always have. Together."

[thedreamerlady]

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