Howling at the Moon (B'rek)

[brimstone81]

Nali had long ago taken up residence with her lover, the bronzerider B'rek. They had been together for nearly two turns now, and they had been the most blissful of her life. Now her belly swelled with the fruit of their labors and love, and she was late in her third trimester. The child had tired her little body out something terrible, and more much of the last few sevendays she was ordered by healers to stay in bed. There she lay now with B'rek's strong arms around her, as they were just falling asleep for the night. She felt so comfortable, like this was so right. As if to agree, she felt the baby move inside her.

She had grown accustomed to the thought of her being a mother, and she figured maybe she'd even have a few children with B'rek. Nali did love him, after all. She smiled to herself in thinking about all the plans she made. Wouldn't it be nice to be finally settled? Of course to stay his weyrmate her child would be sent to the creche, but that was a small price to pay for the greater good. It was the way of the Weyr, and who was she to say any different? Well, she'd like to, she wanted to be selfish and keep the baby herself She was certain it was a girl, though the kitchen ninnies all thought she was having a boy. Either way, she had a name picked out. Oh it wouldn't be long now until her little sweet heart would grace their presence!

It was then that she felt an awful pang in ther abdomen. It wasn't a back spasm, she figured it was a contraction. Then she felt wet, and nearly cried with embarassment. Her water broke. She whispered harshly to wake up her mate, "B'rek! B'rek! The baby, it's coming!"

[hrsegrl]

B'rek had been overjoyed with the news that they were going to have a baby, though Nali seemed a bit worried when she had told him. He had two children, from previous relations and was only too happy to have one with Nali. The world needed to be peopled. After the latest plagues there was no doubt in his mind that the Weyr would be welcoming new additions more than ever. Babies were becoming more precious than before, as were mothers.

Nali was not only his weyrmate, she was his love and she made his life more complete than it had ever been. Still with the Healers confining her to bed rest he felt incapable of helping her with her pain. She never complained of it but he knew she was a brave soul and would never even if it was very painful.

B'rek was growing more and more concerned for her slight little body taking on such a feat. Maybe it was too much for her. He hoped that the baby would be born healthy and happy but beyond that he wanted her healthy and happy. He couldn't help but be worried for her now in the later days of her pregnancy. He brought her little gifts and doted on her as much as possible. Any child of theirs would be well loved.

The Wingsecond was a heavy sleeper and it took both her yelling and the feel of the water to wake. "Oh!" He got up immediately. " Are you comfortable there?? Or do you need help moving? Shall I go fetch a Healer?" He was a nervous father, a very nervous father and he had not been around for the birth of his other children.

[brimstone81]

Nali was trying hard not to cry now. If this was her only child she would not be surprized. She did not want to go through birth again. It was scary, and now she was remembering how much people told her it hurt. She could do it, she could make it through. Women had babies all the time. Some even had twins! Don't be such a baby, Nali, she told herself. When was B'rek going to wake up?

Finally he did, and he did nothing to soothe her nerves. So many questions, too many things to concentrate on! And she was a first time mother, and a small one at that. She clenched her fists on the sleeping skins and nodded, "Yes, please, find a healer. Just go now, and hurry!" Oh, she was afraid because the worst was yet to come. . .

[hrsegrl]

B'rek realized that she was in no state to to be answering him now that he was halfway out the door. He didn't understand the pain or the urgency of these situations but he was a fast runner and used it to his avantage when going to find a Healer. It took him no time to get to the infirmiry, which was all but empty today, thank Faranth!

The Bronzerider made clear the urgency of the situation but was still left waiting and pacing while the man prepared. He didn't mind that the man had a plan, if only the man could execute this plan a little faster. His child was coming into the world and all this healer was doing was taking his sweet time!

It took about half a candlemark for the Healer to grab all his things and come with B'rek to his weyr. When he opened the door and the Healer enetered, B'rek instantly went to his weyrmate's side. The man had taken long enough. "Nali, I've brought the Healer..." She looked like she was struggling to the Bronzerider but he knew nothing of human births. He did help with Runners back when he lived on the plains of Keroon.

[brimstone81]

No, Nali was not having an easy time of it at all. It hurt so bad, and she could tell something was wrong so she paniced. Nali started crying, writhering in the sheets. Where was he? Where was B'rek, who did this to her? She should have just gone between like all those times before. But no, now she was trying to deliver a baby who just wouldn't come out. Searing pain rippled across her caused her roll this way and that. This needed to be over, over OVER! She couldn't take it any more and soon enough B'rek returned with the healer. B'rek came to her side ahd she breathed in deeply, "Finally."

However good of hands the healer had, when he went to his position, he didn't like what he saw. The baby was crowning, but it didn't look like things were going well. The labor lasted for what seemed like days to Nali, but were in reality only a few hours. The healer did his best, gave her a draught, burned sweet smelling herbs, and tried, but he couldn't stop nature. Then at day break it happened. The baby girl was finally born, thrilling out sourly her presence in the world, and the chord was cut. The healer wrapped the child and gave it to the mother to hold, but to B'rek he motioned out of Nali's earshot.

Once away, he spoke softly, "Bronzerider, your child is born healthy, however I worry about the mother. She was too fragile for such a child, and I fear she has ripped internally. She bleeds too much for my liking, and I fear she is on her death bed." His wrinkled face looked at the father's face for emotion. He had delivered such children before, but even more tragic was when both mother and babe died. Some women had complications, such things that even a master could not heal. "Now, I will give fellis to ease her pain, but if things do not improve by tomorrow night, fear the worst."

He pat the bronzerider on the shoulder after giving him a little bag of dried fellis and trudged out. Things didn't look good for Nali and she was growing weaker by the moment, but she held her little girl tight to her, showering the child with kisses. Softly, weakened by the loss of blood, "Look, B'rek, our little daughter, our Brenali." She wasn't stupid, she knew the prognosis wasn't good, with how the healer spoke to B'rek and left.

[hrsegrl]

B'rek had been trying so hard to be there for her while the labor was going on that he knew what the concerned look of the Healer might mean. The good news, his daughter was born healthy, the bad news...that was what the HEaler was about to tell him. The Bronzerider took in what the man was saying slowly. His beloved was in fact dying. Instead of weeping then and there, he put on a brave face.

"Darling she's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. You were so brave." He kissed her forehead lovingly. Watching her with her baby. "Brenali" He tried the name out experimentally," I like it." He knew not what to expect but he did know that the baby would be hungry. No doubt Nali would try to feed her soon. What was he going to do about it in the days to come? Best not to think about it at the moment. For now he wanted to focus on two very special ladies, Nali and their daughter.

He went to get her some water and prepare some fellis but came back to her side within a couple of minutes. Where he began to touch his new baby. He noted the ways she looked like her mother. Darker skin and hair, beautiful lips... the list went on until B'rek could only surmise that the baby was all hers. "She looks nothing like me." He joked. "Lucky for her she looks like her mother." He was trying hard to be light hearted. Letting her think something was wrong was not the best way for her to feel better, which was a possibility.

Look how tired she is mine. The Bronze, who rarely showed interest in his rider's relationship sounded concerned. Gavanth was not going to tell him to get tough or think about the reality here but he was going to make sure the man did not get let down more than need be.She knows, the Healers know, everyone seems to know but you.I don't want to know. It hurts.You sound like a child.If I had only insisted on taking her Between... this is my fault.Worry about fault later. Say what you need to say to her but don't worry her with your pain and fears. That was precisely the advice he would have given himself if he weren't the one in distress.

" I love you, Nali." He kissed her on the lips as if he knew he would not be kissing them again. His daughter was not far from his mind but she would be alive in the morning and he knew just as Nali knew, it was unlikely she would.

[brimstone81]

She smiled softly as he kissed her, looking at their baby with such tenderness only a mother could show. She did not want to leave Brenali in this world so alone, but the baby had her father, and she knew that B'rek would look out for Brenali. "I only did what I had to. But she is certainly beautiful. Most worthy."

She of course could never regret the child now that she held the baby in her arms. A mother's love was something special. Something to be cherished and she did love her baby with all her heart. She'd do anything for the child, even die in bringing her to the world. Nali would have been at peace if not for the worried air about her lover. "She will have your endurance. She will inherit your determination and loyalty. But most of all, she will get your love, and that is good enough for me." She looked at him oddly, "B'rek the birth of a child is supposed to be a happy celebration. I know she may not be a son to one day ride dragons, but she will take good care of you and bring you honor, I'm sure. Don't be worried."

Of course she meant worried about her. Nali sighed and tried to suckle Brenali. "I am tired but I want to feed my daughter at least once before. . . before. . ." Nali knew she was bleeding and with that blood her life was fading from her. Yet bravely for his sake she added, "Before I fall asleep. Will you get some one to take her from me once we are finished?"

And then he kissed her, a kiss neither would likely forget. She looked at him and said with all the passion as she could muster, "Oh, but B'rek I love you too. You will not miss me too much? And you will always have Brenali, to remind you of me."

[hrsegrl]

B'rek realized in his desire to keep himself calm he had only made himself seem more uneasy. The baby would have him. She was right about that. He would never forget Nali even if she had not had his child. This was bittersweet for him and though he wanted to see the good more than the bad, he had a knot in the pit of his stomach that would not go away. "I'm not at all dissapointed that she is girl, my darling. Dragonriding is not a life I would force on any of my children. Whatever Brenali may choose in life, I will be happy for her and proud."

Then her request came. There was the weariness again. "Anything you wish." He smiled and had Gavanth contact one of his wingmates to send a Creche nurse to B'rek's weyr. If the woman was smart she would bring a nursemaid too.

"I will be strong..." At least he would try. "Nali, you mustn't worry about me. " It would take too much out of her and he wanted her to be able to feed her own baby for the first time. Sorrow was not supposed to be in the air when a baby was born but B'rek couldn't help but feel he was losing something forever. Nothing, not the love of a daughter or the love of his dragon was the same as the love of his weyrmate.

[brimstone81]

With her final requests done, and with the reassurance of her lover, she laid back and relaxed. It would be the first and only time she would feed her baby, and when the child was done, the little girl was taken away by the lower cavrens woman. The healers couldn't stop the bleeding and they could only ease Nali's last pains on Pern. She had at least passed her name on before dying, and with B'rek's promise and care, she felt ready to face whatever may come.

It seemed as though she just drifted off to sleep as she died peacefully with out a sound. She would not be forgotten, she could not have been less loved. Her only regret was though she would never be able to teach her daughter the ways of women and the ways of the Weyr. She would not see her daughter's children, and most of all she would not grow old with B'rek. Sweet breath left Nali for the last time, and in an instant she was gone from Pern forever.

[hrsegrl]

B'rek had done everything he could do. He reassured himself as he sat by her bedside. When they took the baby he watched them but he couldn't bring himself to leave Nali. The healers knew what was happening, it was on all of their faces. When she stopped breathing, B'rek tried to look strong in front of the other people in the room. When they left to give him some peace, he began to sob uncontrollably. She was gone, she had left him.

It was his fault. If she hadn't insisted on keeping the baby... if he had insisted on taking her Between. She would still be alive. What was he going to do now? Life wouldn't be the same. Change is part of life. Death is something everyone goes through. Tomorrow you will do what you must do. Tomorrow you will follow your routine. I will be here. I will not leave you.Thank Faranth for that. I don't think I could go through this without you.

(The End)