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Post by hrsegrl on Jan 26, 2008 15:38:25 GMT -5
Nishor was sleeping soundly in the crib and while, Rory could be doing something, he didn't want to. The baby took his attention away from other things he used to enjoy. Even wine was nothing compared to the baby. His canine, Gadget, was always getting himself into trouble and while the six month old pup was rambunctous he was very calm and protective of the baby.
When Gadget heard something at the door, he nearly always barked, so that Rory knew that someone was there. He was a great watch canine. He had never expected he would need the little canine so much. The baby, seemed to not notice the barking for the most part. In fact Rory believed the baby liked Gadget. Or at least he hoped as much.
Gadget barked a couple times at the door, breaking Rory's focus. He walked away from the sleeping baby and gently closed the door to the nursery. Approaching the door he told Gadget to quiet down. He had been training the canine, who was much smarter than he thought he would be. Easy to train. That Weyrling girl had been rigth that the pups would be easy to handle.
Opening the door slowly he looked to see who it was. "Oh. N'zule, come in!" He said smiling at the greenrider. "Nishor just fell asleep a few minutes ago."
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Post by thedreamerlady on Jan 26, 2008 16:00:23 GMT -5
N'zule was nervous- more nervous than any Rider should ever be about approaching a drudge. Carefully smoothing his dark shirt, he'd knocked on the door of Rory's newest rooms.
He didn't know what to say, and found himself almost wishing that Rory would be out- but Nisha had told him to be here at this time, so he knew that Rory would be there. There simply was no escape from this- he had to see the other man, and talk to him. The Greenrider was close enough to rising to keep his anger directed at the other man.
"Hello Rory." He responded to the active looking drudge. "And may I see my nephew? It would be pleasant to see him asleep." N’zule looked and sounded a little awkward. How was he suppose to act around Rory now?
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Post by hrsegrl on Jan 26, 2008 16:09:27 GMT -5
"Of course you can. " Rory said, wondering why N'zule thought he had to ask. It was odd seeing the greenrider look so unsure of himself. "You know you are welcome here anytime. Too bad you didn't bring your canine, Gadget has been missing him..." He looked where the canine had laid down, in front of the nursery door.
"Eh, don't mind him, he's just protective of Nishor." He was in fact gaurding the nursery. "Would you like anything to drink while your here?" Rory had moved away from the door and called Gadget into the living area. He didn't want the canine to prevent N'zule from seeing Nishor.
He had the canine stay where he was. It was a relief to knwo the dog was so focused. "Don't be afraid to make noise. Nishor could sleep through anything..." Rory often slept like that himself. He briefly wondered if the greenrider might have come to see him too. Thoughts like that led down a road that Rory wasn't sure he wanted to go. N'zule didn't love him and may never have truly loved him the way he had loved the greenrider. Rory couldn't seem to move on either. At least now he had Nishor and Gadget to keep him company.
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Post by thedreamerlady on Jan 26, 2008 16:33:11 GMT -5
"Something to drink would be splendid."
N'zule didn't want to talk about his canine. He didn't want to talk about Nishor. He wanted to talk about how much he missed his lover and friend. Oh, if only he wasn't so stupid, always trying to find the moral high ground. If he could simply ask for forgiveness.
So do it. Delith's unamused voice told him flatly. She was tired of her Rider making himself miserable. And no excuses. I like him. Feeling unable to defend himself, N'zule drifted to the crib his nephew was in, staring down at the beautiful child.
Hazel eyes, and brown hair that wasn't as crazy as Nisha's, but definitely had some bounce. Nishor- Rory's son. He felt the curious sensation he'd felt when he first saw Kerzule and Lazule. He should visit them again soon.
"He's a heavy sleeper?" N'zule chuckled. "I hope he's good child, and doesn't keep you up to late at night."
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Post by hrsegrl on Jan 26, 2008 16:45:58 GMT -5
"I'm afraid I don't have anythign good. Allior cleaned out my wine weeks ago. So your choices are klah or some dry ale that her boyfriend left here. " It was very clear that Rory detested ale. Besides he couldn't drink wine, ever again. That was his promise to himself and Allior and the kids. They all loved Rory and he couldn't let them down.
"Oh and we have some juice too. I've gotten used to it. Not so bad once you get passed the not having any bubbles." Rory did miss wine. One of the few weaknesses that really affected his daily life. "Oh yes, he must take after my side of the family there. "
The druge couldn't help himself. He wanted to tease the greenrider a little. After all, he missed him."Thank Faranth he didn't get your personality...He's a very good baby, no temper whatsoever. I'm waiting for it though." Rory could only imagine what the baby would be like as a teenager. Nisha and N'zule's family were a high spirited bunch whereas Rory's family tended to be calmer under duress.
"He is no trouble at all. Never thought I could love a baby so much. I loved my nieces and nephews, don't get me wrong. It was never the same as this." The only one who's love rivaled the baby was his love for N'zule. Who happened to be watching the baby. "I'm up early anyway for work, so it works out wonderfully, Nishor has wonderful timing. Probably gets that from Nisha. I'm rarely on time for anything."
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Post by thedreamerlady on Jan 26, 2008 17:13:43 GMT -5
"Klah, if that's not to much work." N'zule responded pleasantly. It was too early in the morning for drinking, especially ale. You needed food to drink ale. It was weird to feel himself cut off from Delith- she rarely ignored him, but this time he could almost feel her ignoring him.
Watching his nephew breath in and out, he was only slightly paying attention to what Rory was saying, and it took a second for his comment about N'zule's personality to sink it. Biting his tongue to keep from saying anything, N'zule snapped his head around, and shot Rory a dirty look.
"You know as well as I that there is nothing wrong with my personality." N'zule told the other man flatly. "Or anything else, for that matter." He looked at the taller man seriously. Honestly, the boy would be lucky to have a temperament like his own. Keep him from getting bullied.
N'zule nodded. "It is different to have a child of your own."
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Post by hrsegrl on Jan 26, 2008 17:25:19 GMT -5
Rory went on to make the klah and thought they migh avoid fighting... for once but it wasn't to last. N'zule took offense to his comment. The drudge did everything he could to make N'zule happy with him and yet the man ignored him. He didn't mind talking about the baby. He didn't mind talking about the canines or Delith or Nisha. Sometimes Rory just wished N'zule would ask about him.
Handing the klah to the greenrider smoothly, Rory said, "There is nothing wrong with you at all. I simply meant that he could be more emotional, which would be harder to put up with at his age. When he is older I have no doubt he'll have some of you in him..." Rory actually wanted him to be like N'zule. If only the boy had gotten N'zule's green eyes. He found green eyes very attractive.
"He'll most likely be my only child. No doubt I'll spoil him too much. And with Nisha being a rider, he'll be a very special young boy indeed." He paused, wondering if he should ask N'zule about himself or not. No that might be considered prying. He didn't want to know if it was going to hurt him. Delith had to rise to mate, and so did N'zule.
"How is Delith?"
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Post by thedreamerlady on Jan 26, 2008 18:03:43 GMT -5
"I'm not emotional." N'zule mutter, his hand tightening on the crib where it had rested before. He wasn't really. He could almost hear Delith scoffing. His little darling really was upset with him, wasn't she?
But he wasn't emotional. Everyone else was. They needed to get over themselves.
However, he didn't want Delith yelling at him more, so he faked a gracious smile, and took the Klah. "Tastes amazing." He told Rory seriously, drinking deeply.
"And as we both know, any child of Nisha's will be amazing." In a way, it was almost to bad that she was a Rider. Nisha would have made an amazing foster mother. Of course N'zule didn't know about how loose Nisha was, or he might have thought a little more about that.
"She's an amazing woman. And hopefully you'll be an amazing father." N'zule words might have sounded a little harsh, but he didn't sound harsh- it looked like he was just being awkward again. To be honest, he thought Rory would make a much better father than N'zule had ever been.
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Post by hrsegrl on Jan 27, 2008 16:01:44 GMT -5
The greenrider was really adorable when he was upset. Rory couldn't help but watch him. "I know. Being amazing must be a family trait." A family he wasn't sure he consider himself part of, even with his son being part of it. He knew that N'zule probably still hated him but he couldn't help himself. Rory wanted him to know that he was always going to be there whether the greenrider wanted him or not.
"I will do my best. So far so good. Nishor hasn't caught the illness and Allior answers any questions I have. She's here often with Kerzule, Nashin and the girls. They all love the little tyke." Rory agreed that the baby would be amazing. Not only did he have the good looks already but he already had half the lower caverns wrapped around his little finger.
"Don't see how I could allow myself to screw this up." He looked away from N'zule. The fact that the greenrider didn't think he was capable of being a good father made him sad. All his adult life he had wanted a child and now he had one. Why wouldn't he do the best he could possibly do for the boy? Besides he had more time than most the fathers of the WEyr to dedicate to Nishor.
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Post by thedreamerlady on Jan 27, 2008 17:07:52 GMT -5
N'zule shot Rory an inquisitive glance. Amazing, were they? Well, N'zule couldn't argue that, but he couldn't decide if Rory was joking or not. It was easier to assume he wasn't. He wished he really was as amazing as people thought he was.
Golden boy Weyrling, gifted Rider, failure at any sort of relationship- family or otherwise. N'zule shook his head, and leaned onto the crib, trusting that anyone Rory had in his room was more than able to stand up to any force of nature, or fool Rider.
"Rory." N'zule said suddenly. His green eyes glanced over at the tall man who was standing near and far from him. "I'm sorry. You'll be a better father than I've ever been. And I shouldn't judge you on something I have no knowledge of."
That last part was rushed, as though N'zule had to say it quickly, before he stopped himself. He was nearly breathing hard after he finished.
Very nice, Mine. Delith's pleased voice told him distantly.
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Post by hrsegrl on Jan 27, 2008 17:23:46 GMT -5
N'zule was apologizing to him? Where in Faranth's name had that come from? Not that he was complaining but he was more than a little shocked. He was being sincere it seemed too. Rory knew that N'zule had issues with relationships but look at Rory. Had any of his relationships lasted? He hadn't wanted them to. This was different. This was very different.
Rory wanted nothing more than for the Greenrider to be part of this family that was starting. If he thought N'zule was still interested that would be enough. He couldn't, actually he wouldn't, let N'zule put himself down. Rory knew that N'zule was a normal father by Weyr standards.
"Kerzule thinks the world of you. I wouldn't say you were a bad father. Actually he's proud his father is a dragonrider. I don't think you should belittle yourself. Your sons love you very much. As a dragonrider other things are expected of you. No one would think that you need to help raise them. Besides Allior makes sure that Kerzule knows how busy dragonriders are. The girls too for that matter. Do you know when the last time Allie got a visit from her father was? She was three. She's nearly thirteen now."
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Post by thedreamerlady on Jan 27, 2008 18:51:45 GMT -5
If N'zule had been a braver man, he would have moved away from the crib and hugged his ex-weyrmate. He would have explained that he was an idiot, that he just wished that everything could be like it had been a turn ago. But N'zule wasn't a brave man, especially not when it came to Rory. His grip tightened on the crib, and he tried to explain in his own fashion that Rory still best person he'd ever met.
"I'm not a father- maybe by Weyr standards I am, but not by anyone else's." N'zule said, still using a rushed tone of voice, unwilling to stop, or be stopped.
"Rory, you're going to be the best father for Nisha's child, and she'll be a wonderful mother." I'm jealous of him, N'zule realized but he didn't speak up. "Nishor is a lucky boy."
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Post by hrsegrl on Jan 27, 2008 19:06:46 GMT -5
Rory saw that N'zule was uncomfortable again. What as he going to do about the greenrider? He wanted him to feel welcome here. He wanted him to come by as much as he needed. Rory really wished he knew what was going on in the other man's mind.
The drudge had not seen N'zule like this before. He was somewhat worried for him. Did he think he wouldn't be included in the life of Nishor? Rory hoped that wasn't what he thought. He moved closer to the handsome greenrider and placed a hand on his shoulder. Looking into the green eyes of the man who mattered most to him, Rory said, "What matters is that if the boys were in trouble, you'd be there."
He paused not sure if he should say what he was thinking. Well he ought to because he didn't want to never see N'zule again. "You know Nishor is special but he still needs you. As much as he needs me or Nisha. Both of us think it would be best if you were part of his life too." Rory wanted to confess that he would not deny N'zule anything and that the greenrider still held his heart but he couldn't. There had been no indication from N'zule that he was here for anything but the baby. As brave as Rory could be at times, he wasn't about to make a bad move here.
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Post by thedreamerlady on Jan 28, 2008 22:44:50 GMT -5
N'zule shrugged again, and smiled weakly. This was foolish. Wasteful.
"Rory, I wish more than anything we could share Nishor's life. I just don't know if I can stand next to you, and watch him grow up, and you know, watch you." N'zule glanced down, inhaled but at least his voice was back to normal.
"Rory, I miss you more than I have ever missed anyone in my life. More than I'll miss my son when he impressess and starts a life that doesn't require me. More than any lover I've ever taken. Delith misses you, I miss you, and I can't stand it."
Was he about to cry? N'zule doubted it. In for a mark, out with a mountain, he supposed, and continued, unsure if this was really him, or if Delith was messing with his mind again.
"You and me, we're incompatible, but we keep coming back for each other." N'zule turned and stared at the taller man for what might have been the first time that night. "I hate it."
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Post by hrsegrl on Jan 28, 2008 23:01:03 GMT -5
What was he saying? Rory thought to himself, taking in what the greenrider was speaking, slowly. He wanted to be a comfort but he didn't think anything he did would be the right thing in this moment. He loved him. He always would love him. There was nothing Rory could do about that.
"I miss you too." Rory replied. "I can't help it really. The truth is I haven't been able to see anyone in a long while because, I still love you." N'zule was the only person who made him feel complete and while he knew he didn't deserve to be taken back, he wished the greenrider would consider it.
While N'zule was staring at him, Rory met his gaze. "I have changed N'zule. I don't drink anymore and I don't flirt with everything that breathes." He didn't want to ask because it made him feel childish. If he really wanted N'zule he would say what needed saying. "I hate the part where we aren't together. I know you hate these decisions too..." Rory truly hoped this would resolve things. "I don't want to live without you anymore. If you could forgive all of the things I've done wrong and we could start over... I would do it, would you?"
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