Waiting (Sulia)

[kayla]

Merrek was getting impatient. He and Sulia needed to talk. Her silent treatment was getting a bit out of hand. He understood that she was angry at him. However, she was the one who had slacked in her duties - even if it had been only the one time.

Sulia was right in suspecting that Merrek had people watching his wife. And he had been quite relieved to learn that they could detect no behaviour that was inappropriate. He felt bad for having suspected his wife of impropriety, but he simply did not find her protests of innocence believable.

Merrek frowned, Sulia should have been back to their rooms a long time ago. And this was not the first night she had come back incredibly late. He sighed and closed his eyes, trying to keep the impatience in check.

Merrek wanted to make up with his wife. He really did, though he would not grovel. He might have taken things further than necessary, but he had not been that wrong, and he would not grovel. He loved his wife, and the iciness between them was grating on his nerves.

[thedreamerlady]

Sulia was tired, and in no mood to speak with anyone, let alone her loving husband. The sky would begin to lighten in a few hours, and then she'd have to be up again to deal with her helpful Headwoman. All in all, the last few days(or was it a week?) had been horrible, and she was feeling the effects. There were bags under her eyes(carefully hidden), and she'd become a little more tired lately. It was not noticeable to anyone other than her, at least not yet. Sulia was young, and her body would continue to absorb the stress, at least for a little longer.

Striding into her room, Sulia stopped by her dresser, and began removing her dress(yellow and brown, Fort Hold's colors, with full length sleeves). It was a pain- laced in the back, but Sulia's motions were quick and efficient, and it took no time it all to get it off- despite the lack of a helper. Sulia had decided to keep her maid out of the room whenever Merrek was there. It had been an odd decision, and no one knew why she'd chosen to do that, but it stood as it was. Hanging the dress up, and pulling on a simple off-white gown, Sulia finally faced the bed, forcing back a sigh.

Though Sulia had known Merrek would be there, she hadn't realized he would still be awake. He looked irritated, but Sulia could care less. Sulia was sleeping in bed with him- but that was all she was doing. And any attempt of Merrek's to change that had been met with Yonne's expert advice- don't give it up until the man promises never to do it again.

Ignoring him, she walked to her side of the bed, slipped under the covers, and turned to face the outside of the bed, and closed her eyes.

[kayla]

He watched her, he jaw clenched tightly as she completely ignored him. When she crawled into bed and rolled over without so much as acknowledging his precence - with anything more than a sigh anyway, he clenched his jaw tighter.

"Where have you been, Sulia? For the past few nights you've come in late. What are you doing that requires you coming in so late. I find it hard to believe that you've been working that late. So what have you been doing?"

He looked at her back, his eyes boring into her, "I will assume that you have not been doing anything improper, but what, exactly, have you been doing? Where have you been?"

"And no, Sulia, I will not allow you to go to sleep until you have answered me satisfactorily."

He moved to sit on the bed, though he did not get under the covers yet. He wore a simple pair of trousers to sleep in and while he was not as young as he used to be, his bare chest still was quite an impressive sight.

[thedreamerlady]

When Merrek started speaking, it was all Sulia could do not to sigh. There was no part of her that wanted to have a discussion, especially about what her duties were. And him mentioning impropriety, as though he'd catch her in something like that. Oh no, Merrek had not started the conversation off in a way to make her feel good-natured toward him.

Really, you'd think a man of his age would have learned how to speak to women. Taking a moment to breath, the young woman sat up, and looked straight forward. Though Sulia could see Merrek in her peripheral vision, she avoided looking as best she could. The Lady didn't want to be taken advantage of an emotion as basic as lust.

"Tonight I was celebrating the betrothal of lady Derisa, to Voreton. Yesterday we celebrated Bentiston's first male son. The day before that was a proper introduction for Rensa, Yennetta's daughter."

None of these balls required Sulia attention for more than a few minutes. In fact, in some cases, as a woman, after the men had grown truly drunk, she should have retired. Instead, she was staying until the very end of the ball, and supervising cleanup. She simply didn't want to go back to her rooms, and endure a disdainful, lug of a husband, no matter how attractive that husband was.

[kayla]

He sighed and rubbed his forehead, "You need to get sleep, Sulia. And whether you believe it or not, I worry when you don't come to bed at a reasonable hour."

Merrek sighed again. This was getting positively ridiculous. He loved his wife, but she obviously hated him now. Maybe he should let her out of the marriage she so obviously did not want to be a part of. However, he wasn't ready to make that offer yet. Partly because he was sure she'd take it the wrong way, and partly because he was afraid of what her answer would be.

He shook his head and then leaned it against the headboard. A failed marriage. Gah. He loved the woman. He did not want to admit failure. He had to make this work.

"What do you want from me, Sulia?"

[thedreamerlady]

Sulia resisted the urge to snort. Barely, but she resisted. Her eyes closed slowly, then opened again, and she looked sturdily forward. He was about to say something, she could tell. There was a look that Merrek had, one of thinking, and decision. Though there was a part of the Lady that wondered what he was thinking, it was well suppressed, and pushed away. All of her resented that he could make her feel this way. Sulia was unused to such feelings for anyone.

"What do you want from me, Sulia?"

That was a loaded question. Sulia turned, and actually looked at him for the first time that night. Merrek didn't look as imposing as he often did. For once, he looked human. It reminded her of when he'd actually been romancing her, and allowing her to believe that their life would always be like that. Her brows creased. Could she actually tell him? Or would he think it another one of her 'selfish, childish whims'? And even if she did explain, would he take it the right way, or would it lead to another fight, and more punishments?

Then again, Sulia had never truly been one to keep silent. She, in fact, hated it. And it was for that simple reason she decided to actually bother speaking to Merrek. It didn't hurt to try, and if worse came to worse, she could always leave.

"I want you to pay attention to me." She paused, and bit her lip. "I mean, actually spending time with me." Not formal dinners, and an occasional bit of time in their bedroom. She was a young woman, and she needed attention. And shards, if he wouldn't offer it to her, then she had a right to look for it elsewhere.

"I want you to trust me." Sulia wanted freedom from him and everyone else, so that she wouldn't be trapped, but she wouldn't add that. She wanted to be the first thing on his mind, not something to look after once all work, no matter how inconsequential, was finished.

She wished for everything her childish imagination had dreamed of when she'd first thought of marriage. Not this dry, distasteful thing.

"And most of all, I want an apology."

[kayla]

When Sulia turned to look at him, Merrek's eyes would meet her eyes. He wanted her to know that his question was sincere, that he did care about what it was that she needed from him.

Merrek listened to his wife's answers. He nodded slightly, but he did not answer for a couple of moments. His silence was not intended to be a rejection of her request or a belittling of her needs. Rather, Merrek was taking a moment to think over what Sulia had been asking of him.

After a moment he nodded, "Those are fair requests." He looked at his wife, the woman he loved and sighed a bit. He did not for one moment regret marrying her, but he did realize how much simpler marrying a daughter of a Major Lord would have been easier. "Sulia, I cannot neglect my duties to Fort. There are two many people whose very lifes are dependent upon me as the Lord Holder. However, I can delegate some more of my duties to my Stewards."

He smiled to her, though the pain of the past few days might still be evident in his eyes as he did so. "I would love to be able to give you every moment of every day, Sulia. But I can't. There are too many people who look to us, both you and me, for their basic needs to turn my back on them. I was hoping that the time you were spending with Ari would help you to understand that. But you're right. I have been neglecting you, and that is wrong."

Again, Merrek lapsed into silence. Could he trust her? He did not close his eyes, knowing what he would see if he did. Instead he searched her eyes and her face, hoping to find the answer there. He took a deep breath and nodded again, "I overreacted. You're young. You're beautiful. You're sweet. And I'm, according to some, an old man. I had just made sure to make time for you that night and then you weren't there. I overreacted. You have done nothing to lose my trust."

And then Merrek did the one thing that was probably the most difficult thing he ever had to do. His jaw tightened and he raised his chin. He would do this, and do it as a man. "I overreacted, Sulia. And you have my deepest apology."

[thedreamerlady]

Sulia blinked, shellshocked. He hadn't laughed at her once! And, he'd actually apologized. And he'd said she was sweet and beautiful, and that he was jealous! The little mini speech about responsibility hadn't been a really good idea on his part, but Sulia was willing to overlook it, just this once.

"Merrek- I- oh sweetie." And for the first time in quite some time, Sulia flung herself into Merrek's arms, hugging him, and feeling quietly content. He was such a strong fellow, and she always felt good hugging him. Her eyes closed, lulled into a sense of complacency. It wasn't the most comfortable position, with her legs and arms and face all helter-skelter. For the first time in a year, she felt her love for her husband supersede everything else in her life, and she was quiet, basking in the feeling.

[kayla]

Merrek was a bit shocked at the reaction from his wife. Happily so, though he must admit. He gladly wrapped his arms around her and breathed in her scent. He would gently lift her chin to kiss her, warmly. Though the kiss was full of passion and love, Merrek focused on letting his wife know that he loved her, not making any demands of her. He would not have her believe that he simply wanted her for sex, but wanted her to know that he loved her.

After a moment he would gently manhandle his wife to help her find a position that would be more comfortable for her, and would stroke her hair. "I've missed you, 'Lia."