The Girl Next Door (Laszreen)

[brimstone81]

J'var was used to knowing plenty of girls who gave into a dragonman's armorous behaviors. There were a few prudes, but a young man knew which ones to go to. Not that J'var wanted to bed with such a dirty thing, such a girl was not worth him. Of course, he had to go through a trial of celebacy for Ionuth. And he knew there were no children by him. So such a defence he had not the time to discover from some wench.

"I have no more experience than you in close relationships. I have heard it is possible though, you only have to make yourself vulnerable. Would you ever make yourself thus?" He asked her with a curve of a grin. Of course she wouldn't. If she said yes, he'd be surprized. Though he wouldn't make himself vulnerable by chance anyway. His cousin, the bronzerider from Telgar, had sent message to his father about news with him. Apparently he had lost a girl close to him. Some stupid romance. If you let yourself to get to the point of love, you have certain expectations, and you get hurt. Since he knew both of them would know this, he said with a little grin, "If you promise not to die, I promise not to die. We can find out if your theory is correct together."

When she accused him of wanting to fly Saharth, he tried to scoff and laugh. He was going to try, but he didn't want to- well- "Well, it's not like I'm ever going to win. I'll try, but realize, I am so fresh out of weyrling training, do you think I have a chance? I don't, not even my mother thinks I'll be ready this time around." He turned from her. He shouldn't feel like a jerk for trying to fly a queen. That's what bronzes do. He hated that Laszreen made him feel that way. It would be the chance of a lifetime to be a Weyrsecond at twenty. But he had no leading experience. He wouldn't even be a Wingleader until twenty-eight at least! And again, he wondered why he felt the need to defend himself thus to Laszreen about flying queens.

[hrsegrl]

She wouldn't say she was shocked by his admition of no relationships. At least he had a living sibling to talk to and trust in. Though judging by Janirsa, she wasn't an easy person to get along with. Should she even answer that. The truth was she didn't know what she would do if the moment truly came upon her. "I'm not sure. It would depend on the person and the moment and a whole host of other things."

The short woman was not about to let him get the better of her here. If she didn't accept his offer than she would not only seem ungrateful, she would be stupid. Dimglows refused friendships with those higher up than themselves. Having someone who might be able to sway some opinion about her would be good. Not that she intended on using him. It would be nice to have someone here to talk to.
"Thats silly. We all die eventually. I do gauruntee that I won't be dying anytime in the near future, come Thread or Disease or even Gold Hatchlings who maul candidates."


She raised an eyebrow. "With that sort of attitude you won't. I mean don't you want to win? My Father has always said if you really truly want something you go for it. Whether the prize seems too big or you may think yourself unworthy you must attempt it with the thought that you can and will achieve what you want. Trying is not enough..." Laszreen said the words in a tone that suggested she knew what she was saying. It was something that had been drilled into her mind by her father since she was a very little girl.

When J'var turned away she wondered why. Maybe she had said something? She briefly thought maybe he didn't find Jenafa attractive though she had heard countless stories to the opposite. Saylen too was said to be beautiful. It would be hard for the next Goldrider to stand out among those two. That much she did know.

[brimstone81]

He smiled a little triumphantly, "Well that's a start." J'var would agree, maybe if it was the right person, and the situation was beyond his control. Maybe one day he might be vulnerable. Friendships couldn't hurt, unless he got stupid about them.

J'var chuckled then, "Are you afraid of being silly, Laszreen?" He wasn't silly too often either, though. And he knew that every one died. He smirked a little, not cocky, but rather in jest, "Well, we can try out this friends thing, and then wait out our deaths, if we must."

"You want me to really try to win?" He looked at her curiously. He figured that she'd be mad at him for just trying. Like he was being too advantageous, a schemer. And he didn't want to look so much of a user to her. She was coaching her, like his mother. But he would end up screwing up. When he Impressed Ionuth, he knew he was good enough. He knew he would Impress a bronze, he was confident in it. Now, since knowing just that wasn't enough to gain respect from his father, he suddenly lost that edge. He needed it back if he intended to fly Saharth. Did he?

"I messed up horrible. My impatience got the better of me." He frowned a little.

[hrsegrl]

His smiling was beginning to be a bit contagious. She couldn't help but smile back. There was something about J'var that made her feel like someone actually might understand. No, she wasn't going to go all soft now. She was just thinking that she had found a kindred spirit.

"I'm not afraid of anything." Well except for trusting people but that at least was a rational fear. "I never have found a use for silliness..." Her sisters had been frivolous and silly but she had loved them. They were fun to listen to and watch. She had listened because she was nothing like them. No, she was not really the silly type.

"Why ride a Bronze if not to try to achieve status? As if young dragons are any less capapble of flying a Queen than older ones. In fact you'd think it would be the opposite." She had little knowledge on how the Weyr worked as far as the dragons went but she did understand politics. A young Weyrsecond would set everyone on their toes and it wouldn't hurt for her to be friends with such a person either.

"It cannot have been that bad. What happened?" J'var was looking suddenly like he was not as sure of himself as he had been the rest of the conversation. This flight thing was truly bothering him. Laszreen didn't comprehend why.

[brimstone81]

J'var thought she should smile more often. But he learned he shouldn't compliment her, if anything, this conversation. He took this moment to take her features in, she wasn't as plain as she let on. Of course, he had seen a few girls that were prettier, perhaps, but they also had other personality flaws that he couldn't deal with. Like Fluzyism. (yes.. that is a word. I made it a word XD.)

When she declared that she was afraid of nothing, he fought the urge to chuckle. He'd expect nothing less. And maybe that was why he liked her. She was strong, brave, and knew what she wanted. Not totally unlike himself, though now in front of her, he was loosing the brave argument.

"It's not that I don't want status, I do, you have to believe me. My whole life, this is what I wanted. Dragonwise, a younger bronze would be good for the bloodlines. However we have little exprience in flight, never have tried to fly a queen before. Maybe if I had a relationship with a rider, they say that helps. I have nothing." He bit his lip. What could give him an edge? "I know I'd never be ready to fly the senior queen, though the junior queen could help me work my way in. The only thing is, I did everything wrong with Jenafa, I think. I couldn't help but think she was laughing at me. It's my sharding impatience!" It was frustrating. He should have been perfect with Jenafa. He had charm, wit, a pretty face. But nothing he did seemed to gain him brownie points with the woman. Nothing.

[hrsegrl]

She wondered why he was looking at her so intently. Its not like she hadn't been standing there long enough to recall what she looked like. The brunette decided he must be thinking and not realizing he was staring. She likewise did not realize she was looking straight back and admiring his own features. Laszreen didn't normally meet people she thought of as worthy to continue a conversation with.

"Ahh. Well I thought the Queens chose based on the dragon's ability to keep up and get close to the Gold dragon and based on a good impression of the rider. I heard that Saharth's flights are generally open. Doesn't that mean she has no Weyrmate?" If that was the case then Jenafa had no real man in her life. Why wouldn't she want a young man who would be devoted to her? Someone she could manipulate or try to manipulate. Laszreen doubted J'var was so weak willed as to constantly be manuevered into things he didn't want to do.

"I've yet to meet Jenafa. She sounds like she can be intimidating." Though Laszreen doubted anyone was as intimidating as she herself was at first meeting. "It can't have been as bad was talking to me." If thats what one called their arguments. The way he spoke of his impatience made her see how desperate he was to gain the position he wanted. That was his edge, whether he knew it or not. Laszreen was wise enough not to say that to him. "Waiting is not an easy thing to do."

[brimstone81]

"Yes, that is true. A flight determines the stongest pairing, generally. So that dragons breed true. There are some exceptions. I just wonder if I had the chance to win, would I be well accepted by the other riders? Maybe the younger ones, but I don't think the older ones would be so keen on having a twenty turn old play Weyrsecond." Maybe he was harming himself by thinking thus. But his efforts were meant to protect himself. He knew he'd have a hard time winning, and if he didn't win, he could at least be rational about it. "I don't think she has a weyrmate, as beautiful and stong as she is. I wonder why that is myself."

He smirked a little, "Maybe it is that she secretly is pining for the Weyrleader. His bronze had flown her gold before. But that is probably blastphemy to speak about that." He thought about her next words, and J'var laughed a little, "Believe it or not I find it easier to by myself around you. With Jenafa, at least, I felt pressure to do everything to please her, to do everything right. It is like you said, it is hard to wait when my instincts challenge everything. With queenriders, I am warned to watch my tongue lest they find me irritating and useless. I can do it, just not with out a fight from myself." It was true, while Laszreen infuriated him, he still could be himself, he could still defend and say what he wanted. While it was also true that censoship did nothing for his impatience.

[hrsegrl]

Laszreen quirked her eyebrow up at that and with a calculating look responded. "Oh I think the older riders would be thrilled. You see, they will be under the impression that because your young they can mold you to their wills. J'var, your rather naieve for growing up around all this political oddness." She had meant only to tease him and not provoke the temper she had already found he had.

Then shaking her head slowly with a sad smile on her face, "You really ought to study this intricate Weyr politic thing more. I've already come to the conclusion that she won't be flown by a man who is in the bed of a woman higher ranked than her. Even if he flies her, the rider may have some sort of unknown inhibitions in himself and his dragon as well. No, you will have an advantage, your untried. Better yet because your new, you are more innocent and more interesting..."

She figured that any woman would want to hear the truth rather than flattery but that might only be her. She was not fond of people who laid on fluff when they said things. Direct and to the point, it wasted less time and she didn't have to deal with idiots. Laszreen would prefer to snuff out any man wanting to bed her before he even had a chance to try to get her attentions. It was better that way. Love was too risky. Perhaps the Junior Weyrwoman felt the same way and that was why she had no long term mate.

[brimstone81]

His brow furrowed slightly, was she trying to irk him by insinuating he had no sense! He looked away to think about that. The older bronzes would like to mold him, wouldn't they? And while he would hold stong to his own ideals, they could get quite pesky. . . It was a sacrifice he would take.

J'var was finding more and more what a bright woman she was, and how advantageous it would be for him to have a woman like that on his side. Of course he had his mother, but frankly he'd rather look at Laszreen any day. A dirty though crept into his mind as spoke her last. J'var even hoped she found him more interesting. He'd like to prove to her he wasn't innocent. He scolded himself, Bad J'var. Keep your mind clean of such diversion. At least until later.

"Laszreen, despite it all, I am greatful of your words." He gave her a little wink, "If I manage to pull this off, you can bet you'll be rewarded." And he meant that. IF he won, he'd buy her a pretty trinket. Though he'd be willing to bet she wouldn't like that. Or she wouldn't admit it anyway.

[hrsegrl]

"I better be." She said, only half joking. It was true she could have made it a threat but she figured since she was supposed to be trying to be amiable that she had better mind her tone. No doubt the young Bronzerider was impressed but she had grown up around such intrigues. Politics was a strength of hers and she used it to her best advantage today.

Her eyes drifted towards the doorway when she heard someone enter. "Make sure whatever it is, it won't be too noticable. I too have a desire to impress these women in power." After all she wanted to be one of them. To be one of them she needed to get on the sands. Impressing them would mean they might start to groom her for the position that a third Goldrider would have. A junior Weyrwoman. Well, it wasn't as great as being Senior but she had time, turns and turns of it.

Laszreen took a moment to think of what they should do next. Now that he wanted to catch the Goldrider and believed he could do it. What else could he have to say to her? He was probably thinking of Jenafa and well there was not room in a man's mind for more than one woman at a time. At least thats what she thought.

[brimstone81]

J'var looked into her face, smiling softly, and there was a pause between them. Oh, she was a gem, a realy gem, so different from the other girls. The novelty of her not being a flighty weyrbred girl had not worn off, infact made her more charming-in an agsty feline kind of way. But it was more than her beauty and her wit, the girl challenged him to the point that there was no clear winner after their spat. It was Impressive indeed. He was tempted to kiss her, but thought against it, fearing she might slap him and he'd loose any chance with her. And he didn't give a shard about what his mother might think about him desiring a 'mere' candidate.

Then the moment was over, and Laszreen spoke again, her eyes wandering away from him. He snapped out of it with a, "Oh, yeah, right. Well I'd want you to wear it, whatever it is I'll get you." He gave her a little wink. He didn't want to get her in trouble, and if she didn't want anything to flashy, he'd find something suitable. Big and gaudy didn't seem to be her style anyway. Maybe something small and stylish. He'd check in with his mother, who had trader connections. Let her think he was using her gifts to woo a goldrider. Who knew? Maybe Laszreen would be a goldrider one day, and he'd be praised for 'thinking ahead.' Of course, he needed to win first.

There was another pause, anther place where in the movies it would be written "enter kiss here." And again he didn't do it because he thought she'd be mad at him. Of course she was wrong, he wasn't thinking of Jenafa, he was thinking of her, and what kind of trinket would look nice. A ring, a bracelet or a necklace? There was a knot in his stomache and for some reason he felt the only reason to cure it was to lean down and kiss her softly on the cheek.

He stood back and rubbed the back of his neck. J'var looked at her with some apprehension to see if he was going to be clawed to pieces now.

[hrsegrl]

The fact that he was going to get her something was enough to make her wonder. Then there was the other part of that, where he was going to give her a gift after flying another woman. A woman, who was supposedly very beautiful. Laszreen thought it would be best that she not show any gifts off that she recieved around here. J'var was not helping her current state of nerves.

He was looking at her in a way that made her want to run and hide but also stay. She had met the gaze not knowing fully what was passing between them. Laszreen tried not to think about it too much. He answered her and she took a moment to process. A moment longer than she normally did. She had many nice things at home and was used to owning the best of the best. "I'm sure you have good taste..." He seemed to be the type to pay attention to style and what wouldn't disturb the higher ups.

Next thing she knew he had kissed her cheek. First she blushed, somewhat shocked. Then she wasn't sure what to say but the air seemed not to come into her lungs like it should. Her mind sped through the last few moments. What had she done to deserve that? He looked uncomfortable now that he had done. Should she do anything? It was all lost on her now.

"I... you... can't..." She stammered. He really couldn't do that or shouldn't. Laszreen wasn't one to take such things lightly. One afternoon and he had already dared to kiss her. She certainly couldn't kiss him back that would be out of order. What had even possessed her to think of that. Her body was simply thinking instead of her head.

"J'var..." She spoke softly. Her mind was resolute. They just couldn't, not right now. "You must not kiss me again. Theres too much at stake." She could have said she hated him and wanted him out of her life. It would be a lie and she always tried to speak the truth. When it came to her emotions, she was always unsure.

[brimstone81]

J'var's hand left his neck, and he looked at her as she tried to spit out a sensible phrase. He couldn't? But he did. And J'var almost always took what he wanted. He even censored himself. Though she had taken it better than he thought she would. Perhaps he should be more grateful. She hadn't exactly refused him. He felt like he had known her forever, not just one day-less than a day, really!

He looked at her again, "And why mustn't I kiss you again? You are unlike anyone I have ever met, pretty, smart, sophisticated, and I daresay - well, if you don't want me to, I won't. But only because you asked me not to." Though he couldn't see what they had at stake to loose. The queenriders could kiss whomever they wanted. Was she afraid that he would win the goldflight and leave her? Jenafa was beautiful, and certainly charming. But he supposed she was right. Not now, it wasn't the right time. Maybe they should be just friends. He cupped her chin lightly and looked down at her, "But know this, I can be your friend for now, but if you want me to wait, you'll have to let me know. Now I have to go, but I want to see you again, if only as friends."

Unseen was a dark haired young woman, a rival of Laszreen's to be sure, she looked with grave triumph at the scene before her. Her very own brother had kissed the cheek of the Bitran girl. The very one she told him to beware. That traitor! He would wish Laszreen to Impress and herself, Janirsa to fail! Well, the girl tossed her hair haughtily, it was about time that she go visit her mother in the lower caverns. . . She turned and left, hopefully as unnoticed as she came in, now certainly with the other wench's attentions besotted with her brother. Like Laszreen had a chance with a bronzerider!

[hrsegrl]

She swallowed hard, not wanting to face him when he was looking at her like that. Laszreen refused to be seen as weak and so she held herself with what power and authority she did have. As a holdbred woman, she wondered what he had expected her to say. Not only was she holdbred but she was wealthy and the wealthier one was, the more ones repuation mattered. Even in the Weyr. She and J'var had plenty to lose, if they began a relationship now.

His eyes on her made her gaze back a him, dark brown eyes meeting his. He was saying all these things that she should be taking as compliments and she was more and more frustrated with the idea that she wanted him too. Oh, wretched body! The fact that he wanted to take her because he could, was, was...intriguing. No one dared as he had and it was exaclty that which made him better than others.

She would make this clear for him and now. Laszreen wasn't some whore in the Lower Caverns. "I am a Candidate. I cannot be in relationships with anyone unless I want to lose my repuation. You of all people know what that means here." Her eyes were dark, unfeeling and set. He was leaving and she suddenly realized she would miss him. "Until then." She said her tone was warmer than she had meant it to be.