Secrecy (J'var)

[hrsegrl]

The Gold candidate walked down to the Bowl, perfectly aware of where she was going. There was little that would or could suprise Laszreen. The small brunette had been worn out after chores today and was loathe to go back to the Barracks. It would be loud and people would be eyeing her oddly. She didn't want to go there and thus far she had yet to find a quiet place to think.

The only person she thought she could get away with talking to was J'var though even he might annoy her tonight. She hoped not. Laszreen kept walking till she had a clear view of where Ionuth might be. She didn't see him so she stood where she was for a few moments and leaned against a nearby tree. People were jogging past and some were bringing their dragons down to bathe or feed. In the distance she thought she heard the cry of a green rising to mate.

It wasn't an abnormal thing at the Weyr, in fact there were greenflights every day. She looked at all the cuts on her soft hands and wanted to stab that flaming needle into something other than herself for once. Larissa had made it look easy and so had A'sos. She wasn't cut out for that. Not at all.

[brimstone81]

Ionuth landed near the lake, and a few skiddish blues flew off in different directions. It was fine with the haughty bronze. (One who had indeed grown even more haughty with the catching of Saharth) His had told him to sit there for a while- exactly how long was not explained to him. Ionuth was just supposed to sit in the designated spot and if the girl came to him, he was supposed to let J'var know, pronto. Well, as if he, the bronze Ionuth, had nothing better to do! He should be with Saharth, even if she was clutching. It wouldn't be long before those other bronze buzzards would be after his queen.

J'var had a busy day shadowing the Weyrleader. It was quite a lot of work, and sort of overwelming, but he got through it. Now it was time to unwind. Of course a few nasty thoughts entered his head, but he didn't want to bother Jenafa with such a fresh clutch. The queenrider was probably too busy fussing over Saharth-and she had the right to. Was there not a fine clutch complete with a gold egg? It made J'var proud, and it cemented his position with out question.

But seriously, who was he going to just relax with and have a chill out night with? Of course one of his friends. Sex had come to mind, but there was no one that really perked his interested, save Jenafa and a friend who refused benefits. (ahem ::nudge nudge wink wink: His guy friends would totally be immature and just congratulate him and he didn't want that exactly. There was only one person who could totally be real with him.

Laszreen.

So he sent Ionuth out to their spot, and hoped to the first shells that Laszreen would be looking.

[hrsegrl]

Laszreen watched as the other dragons moved to make way for the Bronze. Like rider like dragon, she thought, almost suprised to see the dragon had come at all. Sure she had known J'var to be true to his word but she didn't think that tonight would be a good night for him to be away from his Weyrwoman. The brunette walked toward the dragon, with a slow but steady stride. She was already tired, no use becoming more so by walking fast.

"Greetings to you Ionuth. Congratulations on an excellent clutch." The Candidate had picked up on how important it was to produce high ranking eggs, almost as much as it was to produce many eggs. Ionuth had certainly proved himself.

Word that there was a Gold on the sands had lifted her for a little while today but she began to be consumed by what ifs. Not that she should be bothered by it. Many Weyrwomen were not Weyr bred, though she believed it gave one the advantage. Laszreen wondered if Janirsa was already plotting her path to power. She'd probably be better off not mentioning the rivalry to J'var. The girl was his sister after all. Personally Laszreen preferred his sweet sister, she wasn't competition and she really couldn't think of any reason not to like the girl. Other than the obvious, that the girl was too nice.

[brimstone81]

Ionuth rumbled happily with the compliment. He loved being flattered, it wasn't as if he didn't deserve it, either. He had flown Saharth and she had laid a gold egg. Everyone knew that the father was responsible for the appearance of ranking eggs in a clutch. Especially golds. Why should he not get recognition? Ionuth was a fine and handsome bronze, he was young, full of vitality and stamina. He was perfect. And that was how he thought about things. Mine, your little friend is here. Nice girl.

J'var, how had been sitting in the Weyrhall getting something to snack on when he heard Ionuth's call. He was expecting something crabby, irritated, not all all happy, but instead he got something, well nice. Oh, keep her there I'll be right out.

Ionuth stared down at Laszreen. Was he supposed to actually talk to her? Or what? He hoped he wasn't degrading himself by doing this . . . Laszreen, Mine is coming, don't leave. The bronze looked out over the lake to see if he spotted another dragon worth conversing with, or showing off to. His better not just screw his chances up with Saharth by this friendship. Ionuth knew how J'var lusted after his little land walker. Why, he didn't know, but sometimes he just didn't understand J'var.

J'var worked quickly as possible to stuff down the sweet cake, and then go into the kitchens, brush past his mother and grab a bottle of wine from Janesa's private stores. Still, it took him a while to rummage around in his mother's office. He blew some dust off the first bottle he could find and saw it was a red. What vintage or maker, he didn't even bother to look at, he just took off. Still by the time he got down to the lake, it must have taken him ten minutes, he just hoped he'd see Laszreen still there when he reached his destination. . .

[hrsegrl]

Laszreen didn't expect J'var would be with Ionuth but she wondered how she would know he was coming. Mid-thought however, her question was answered. The dragon bespoke her! She had never heard a dragon voice before. It was rather commanding and a bit stiff but she bet they all sounded different. Ionuth had no idea she was excited about it and she simply nodded in response because she couldn't find words in that moment.

Looked like she would be playing the waiting game. Ionuth didn't seem to pleased about that either. She wondered how J'var was faring with the Weyrleader and Weyrwomen. Especially with Jenafa. As much as she hated to admit it, she wasn't exactly happy he was with the Junior Weyrwoman. Still, Ionuth had given her the opportunity to impress. This must be what her father meant by a double edged sword.

The petite young woman sat down after a few minutes, she had her back to the Weyr and her head was looking up at the sky. It was a beautiful night. Some of the stars made shapes that one could identify and use to tell ones position on the ground. How had she come by this knowledge? Well turns of training to learn as much about anything and everything as one possibly could, left one with a rather eccentric amount of miscellaineous information.

Hearing footsteps she shot up off the ground and turned around in one nearly fluid movement. She had not reached for a weapon, seeing as all but one had been confiscated. He was taking his sweet time, she thought and without saying anything watched him come closer, her hands now on her hips.

[brimstone81]

J'var smiled a little bit as he saw her twirl up from the ground and stand there like an angry woman. She did have right to be, she had to wait for him. Funny, how men had to wait for women and shut up, but Faranth forbid if you ever make a woman wait. He chuckled to himself, holding the bottle neck with his left hand, "Hello Laszreen, looking alive as ever."

She was very pretty, but he would not make the same mistake twice in telling her that. He smiled at her, "Ready to go up? I brought something for us. I don't know about you, but I had a long day." J'var handed the bottle of red wine to her. He walked over to his bronze, and patted Ionuth on the forearm, Good boy. You owe me. Ha, yeah, big time, Io. He mounted the bronze fluid movements and then held his hand down, "You can hand me the bottle back now, and I'll help you mount Ionuth. If you want."

J'var realized then that he hadn't even asked her if she wanted to go with him. He just assumed since she showed up that she was coming.

[hrsegrl]

Laszreen wasn't sure what to say to that, her wits were a bit slow tonight. "I am very much alive, unfortunately for Janirsa." She had a glint in her eye when she said that. The rivals were much more cutthroat now that the Gold was on the sands. She took the bottle and figured he would want it back. Goodness, he sounded worse than she did. Long day, indeed. Wordlessly she handed the bottle back and unfortunately she had no practice mounting dragons. Her height was not helpful either.

She held out her calloused and poked hand. The tips of her fingers were all looking rather sore. The dark hid most of that, or so she hoped. " It was indeed, a very long day." She said as she mounted the dragon with his help... a lot of his help. "I've only survived thanks to this really sweet girl, who has been helping me learn the chores. You might know her..." Laszreen said, not knowing that Larissa was his sister.

She was now behind the Bronzerider and her arms were circled around him to hold on. She'd never admit that it was a good feeling. Laszreen could never tell him that he was impressing her more and more and even this was helping her to see what she was missing. For her future she had to resist him even if it meant letting him believe there was someone else. "I'm ready when you are."

[brimstone81]

He chuckled, yes, his sister hated rivals. Though perhaps rivals brought out the best in a person competitively. But also the worst. He didn't want to get in the middle of things, and maybe it was better that his as Laszreen's meetings were in secret. He didn't need his jealous sister to know. She'd call him out as a family traitor. No, it was better that no one knew they were friends. Better yet that no one knew that he wanted to be more with her.

He looked at her hands and in the pit of his stomach he felt a pain. If she was his weyrmate, he'd never let her life a finger, and her hands would soft as a Lady's. As they should be. He would have her on a pedistal and make sure she was taken care of like she was made to be. He took her outstretched hand, and before he could censor himself he lifted it to his mouth and kissed her palm. "Maybe that will make it better? It's been a long day for me as well. Let's get out of here."

And just like that he turned and helped her mount, not letting her have time to awknowledge his affection. She'd not like it, she was after all pining for B'rek. Stupid oaf. J'var enjoyed helping her. It made him feel superior, even though there was no way for Laszreen to be as good as him, since he was a rider of 2 turns and she was a holder's daughter. Still, made him feel manly, and he appreciated that she let him help her. He chuckled, "There are nice girls in the lower cavrens?" Of course he could think of one or two, but most of them were of no consequence to him, "I heard that place is like a squirming tunnel snake den. Or it was when I was growing up there."

His mother and sister Janirsa was proof. But then she clasped her arms around him, and his thoughts melted to only that of her. But he must not rush her. To him, it wasn't as important to have her, but he wanted to keep her. She would see that B'rek wasn't as good as him one of these days. He chocked a little, to make sure his voice didn't crack as he was surprized at how nice her arms around him felt, "Yeah, ready."

When Ionuth got to his weyr, J'var was hesitant to get off. Laszreen would have to remove her arms and he really didn't want that. He dismounted and held his arms up to her to catch her. "Here it is, home sweet home."

[hrsegrl]

J'var seemed concerned about her in a way that no one had ever been before. She tried to remember if there was a time anyone in her family had looked at her that way and quickly realized that there was not. She tried hard not to but when he kissed her hand, she blushed. Laszreen felt completely undone for a moment and collected herself as best she could, to respond to what he was saying. "Yeah. it does feel a little better..." Holding back a sigh she focused on getting herself prepared for take off.

"For sure there are some rather snippety women down there. I try to avoid most the gossipers as well. Its one thing I really cannot stand, gossip. I doubt the caverns have changed all that much, nevertheless, that girl..." She took a moment to get the name out."Lara, err I mean Larissa was very helpful. I now know how to sew, or kind of sew." She knew that she was avoiding any talk of what she was feeling by talking about this sort of thing.

The dragon took off and she held on a bit tighter, though not enough to cause discomfort. Her head rested on his back and she took in the smell. Which was uncharactaristic of her. She wasn't too sure why she had done it but it felt comfortable at the time. When they landed and it took a moment for him to dismount she smiled inwardly. As he dismounted she brought her leg over to the same side.

Laszreen was glad she was of small stature for it would be hard to help her down if she were tall. Thus she slid into his arms and felt herself linger there for a moment, trying not to look at him for longer than a second. "Am I going to get a tour?"

[brimstone81]

"Lara? Yes, she is very kind. Too kind for her own good sometimes, I think." He said as she mentioned Larissa. Yes, once they had been close, but now as they got older, they had been split by ambition and power. He just hoped Larissa wouldn't get hurt or taken advantage of. She was such a sweet little thing. No bite at all, even if she wanted to. He half chuckled, "I bet she's good at sewing, got her first lessons from Janesa. My mother might fool you, but she's a handy woman beneath all the pomp and frivolity. I daresay that Larissa probably broke the woman's heart, what with all her wasted potential. Anyway. . ."

When the dragon had taken off and she put herself against his back, he smiled softly, hoping the ride wouldn't end, but it did. He had liked the feeling of her holding him. And when she slipped into his arms, he caught to him, and there was a moment shared between them, and then he was obligated to let her go. They weren't lovers, and he was probably making this weird for her. She caught him by surprize, "Tour? oh, yes. Well, if you come in, there is Ionuth's stone sleeping place. And a little further in is my sleeping quarters. There is my trunk for clothes, and a work desk for my personal writing. And that's my bed."

It was a nice size, large, even, and soft and fine, and perfect to seduce a girl. And he hadn't yet. All because he was stuck on Laszreen. The last female on Pern that wanted him. He moved through the room, "And through this archway is the bathing room. It's nice. And it's all I have now."

[hrsegrl]

Laszreen was not slow, she put two and two together and came up with the solution. Larissa was his sister? Odd how different they were, however there were some similarities now that she thought of it. "If everyone were as ambitious as you and I there would be no one left to do things like sew, clean, cook and look after children. Besides, I've never met anyone that content with life..."

At the end she spoke wistfully. For herself there was always something more that needed doing, another plan to see through to finish, another rank one might achieve. It must be nice not to worry about any of that. That was quite possibly the first time she had stood up for someone that was what she would call weak. Well other than herself, though she'd never admit that at one time she thought herself weak.

Following him in she listened as he pointed out what was what. Her eyes rested on the bed and she couldn't help but think of hers back home. She had a wonderful bed there. Only the wealthy could have afforded what she slept on. These Candidate beds were more like sleeping on the floor. Sometimes she thought she might actually prefer that. "Most people collect more things with time, so will you. " She was looking everything over, as if it needed her approval.

"Shall we sit?" She sat down on the edge of the bed and meant nothing by it simply that there was only his desk chair and the bed to sit on. She chose what looked more comfortable. "What made your day so horrible?" Laszreen asked, her tone suggested she was genuinely concerned. What were friends for if not to listen to the troubles of life and take care of a hurt soul.

[brimstone81]

J'var snorted, "Well I don't think every one should be ambitious, but there is no reason why my sister should be one of those doing such menial tasks of sewing and mending." Of course he thought she should be better than the rest of the drudges, but he could not force his sister to do anything. Larissa had to choose her own path, and if she wanted to do drudgery let her. "But I grow weary of such talk.

He wanted to sit on the bed with her, but thought against it and took the chair and sat on it back wards. He leaned on the chair back and looked at her. With a sigh, "Well honestly, it wasn't so bad," he chuckled, "I just followed the Weyrleader around and listened and was kind of an assistant. It's sort of nice at the top. It was just a long day with very few breaks. Sent on tasks for A'stin and stuff. But you, you hurt your poor hands. What other terrible things did they make you do?"

[hrsegrl]

Laszreen closed her mouth on that one. They both had too much pride and arguing over something that trivial seemed to defeat the purpose of their meeting. The brunette was not suprised that he went and sat in the chair. That he brushed off his own troubles to talk about her made her wonder if he was simply trying not to think about his ordeals.

When it came to people in power, Laszreen had a million questions. "What is running the Weyr like? Is A'stin intelligent or is he all looks, as some women say?" Oh to be in charge of people again. These thoughts all left her with the one question she wasn't sure she wanted to ask. It would be rude not to, she surmised. "How is Jenafa?"

She looked down, "Oh nothing extremely horrific. I did have to clean stalls for my afternoon chore. I hate to be the one to tell you this..." Laszreen said in a sarcastic tone, "but your mother really dislikes me." Which translated to a bunch of the worst chores imaginable just to make Laszreen squirm and give up. "I guess it can't hurt to get to know the every day life of the drudges." Her face told a different story. She would much rather go back to reading, writing, practicing political policy and even fencing. Most people thought a woman should not be able to defend herself in that way and so she couldn't very well fence here at the Weyr.

[brimstone81]

J'var snorted. All the girls loved A'stin, didn't they? He was the biggest celebrity in Igen, wasn't he? Too bad they all didn't know he was whipped by Shaye. He had the feeling that A'stin was more attatched to the woman than he let on. Of course she would ask him that. He had half a mind to tell her, no, A'stin was as dumb as a rock. "Yeah, he knows what he's doing. There's a reason he's Weyrleader. He's good at his job, pretty smart guy, I'd say." Maybe it wasn't B'rek, maybe it was A'stin that she was in love with. Of course she asked about Jenafa. "Oh, her, well, she's smart, I suppose. Clever as any other woman. We don't spend much time with eachother."

Ha. That brownrider. And she hadn't heard about it yet. Well it would be only a matter of time before his reputation was smeared and he was going to be known as the bronzer who couldn't satisfy his women. Could he satisfy any woman? Could he keep any woman? Was there one for him in this ambitious world? "I think Jenafa is more sane than Shaye. Saylen is rumored to be kind of. . . well different. But that's rumor, because I haven't really spent time with her yet."

Icky chores, he never had to do that because he was his mother's golden boy. Good thing, too. "I'm sorry to hear that. My mother wouldn't appreciate a rival of my sister Janirsa's." Nor a girl that threatened her son's standing with the Weyrwomen. Even if he said something to his mother, he didn't think he could get Janesa to change her mind. "It can't hurt to know, but you shouldn't have to. Just think, the eggs will hatch soon and you'll just look back on this time as a memory, as bitter as it was, it'll all be done. You can move on to better things."

[hrsegrl]

Laszreen noted that he was having trouble with this conversation. A'stin was not at all someone she would be interested in. For one, what man in his right mind would leave his position as Weyrleader to court a Candidate. Two she had reason to believe he was no longer much interested in women other than the Weyrwomen. Yes, she had heard gossip on both ends. "It is imperative that he be well educated. The Weyr would fall if the Leadership were weak. I'm sure you fit right in..." Laszreen added.

The knowledge that he spent little time with the Junior Weyrwoman made her want to smile. Instead she pretended to feel bad about it. Obviously she liked the competition but she would rather have avoided this sort of competitor until she had the opportunity to impress. "I'm sorry to hear that. Hope I'm not getting in the way of your together time." Which was exactly what she hoped she was doing.

"I've only seen the Senior Weyrwoman in passing. Something about her eyes makes her seem shifty, although flighty might be a better term. There are not many people that I know of that can take on the kind of pressure of Senior Gold and retain the same amount of sanity they had when they went into it."

Her eyes strayed to his face briefly. "There are sure to be many girls hoping to impress. I really don't understand how dragons choose. I mean I do understand the basics but how can one newly hatched Gold know what she wants?" Laszreen didn't admit self doubt in front of competitors but this was a friend and she needed to feel vulnerable in order to build the wall around herself she needed to build before the Hatching.